3. Heads-up

1. My critique:
I respect every ethical choice people make about connections, labels and forms of intimacy. My critique in this series is of the design of the app systems, not of the choices people make within them.

2. Consent and privacy:
All personal information used in these essays comes with permission from the people involved. I take privacy seriously, and that's why I call these personal essays rather than formal qualitative research

3. To survivors:
With all my understanding and pain around sexual, mental and physical abuse, to every survivor out there: Your pain matters, and I’m sorry I could not cover this in the essay because of my own limits.

Even so, I want to note more: But if you're sick of him, I got you [...]  If he's killing you, I see you.

We are all in the "Patient Zero" party. We all know this devastating damage, but outsiders always see it like a cliché.

However, I'm not addressing this topic in this series because it belongs on another platform. But I promise, my research perspective isn't painted in blind hope about love. The hyper-vigilance we carry as survivors stays with us forever, felt the reeling, done the healing, said the curses and prayers. And after all I'm doing this kind of research because I do believe we all deserve better dating apps, better chances to have healthy connections.